by COSS Blog Contributor Joann Homen
Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to Heath Ledger's statement.
Normally strangers are very accepting of us and who we are mostly because they don't know us well enough to judge us, they simply accept us as who we are at first meeting.
It is when people get to know us that they start judging us. This is where the problems can begin.
We want people to act and be a certain way and if they aren't they start judging us for what they perceive are our shortcomings.
We have all done and continue to do this every day whether we know it or not. For example, we are driving, and we suddenly notice a person who is dressed in white pants in December and we think to ourselves "people should not wear white in the winter" mindset, but we simply drive on by keeping our thoughts to ourselves.
This sort of judging is harmless enough but when we get to know someone, we tend to be less tolerant of our differences and often we don't hesitate to speak our mind to others.
If the person we make these flippant comments to is confident enough in who they are they will merely laugh your opinion off and continue doing whatever they want, knowing full well they are not harming anyone.
Of course, this tends to piss the judgmental people off and over time they may start literally hating someone because they don't act or behave how WE want / expect them too. When we do this, we need to grow the heck up and recognize that what we are essentially doing is forcing our will and beliefs on others.
It is better to mind our own business and let people be themselves rather than judging them. If we for whatever reason can't do this, well pack your bags, and mosey on. You have no right to try to get others to conform to your wishes than another has forcing the same on you.
When we allow people to be themselves rather than wasting time judging /hating them, our life becomes more positive because we are focusing on positive things rather than judging others!