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by C.O.S.S. Blog Contributor Julie Hagen

Handing over the reins.

Scary thought that isn’t it?



The one thing you think you always have. Over everything.


Over nothing but yourself.

Yourself. Your emotions, your actions, your responses. Your thoughts, ideas, wishes, dreams. Surprise!

You thought you controlled your….fill in the blank. Money, children, spouse, partner, job, daily life, health, neighborhood, car, dog.

You’ve got it backwards. You think you control the outer things and they in return control or create your inner things. What is outside does not bring you happiness if there is no happiness already inside waiting to expand.

THEY didn’t do anything. Yes ,what they said or did was hurtful. But they didn’t take away your happiness. Maybe a little dimmer for a time, but you can build it again. YOU build it, it comes from within you and by you.

Hurt? Go for a walk. Look at the sky, sing a song, dance. What brings you joy. Will it override all the pain, disappointment or sadness…of course not, but it tempers it. Tempers it enough to survive it. To keep your head above the water and swimming for shore. Tempers it enough to ask the angels to come and guide you, lift you, put your feet back on higher ground. To trust that the Universe has your back. To have faith that all will be well and all will be well and all will be well. In those moments when your heart is lying there bleeding and your soul only sees darkness.

The more the struggle with outer control, the more the pain inside. The greater the control inside, the less the struggle outside. No one said it was easy. But it can be easier. It can be a building block to better rather than a brick to the side of head.

Illusions of control. These are the greatest torture tools on earth. Usually self-inflicted even though you see it as done by THEM.

No one makes you feel anything. An action or word brings out a certain in emotion in you, depending on your experiences and life story. YOU are feeling the pain, the sting, THEY may or may not be aware they did anything. What do you tell yourself then? Ah - he has said this… and I hear that. Now you are feeling that…how do you choose to respond.

Do you want the feeling sitting inside you all day, all year, all your life? Or can you take it, see it, feel it and place it aside, lovingly we even offer, to allow light and love from your heart to soften it more and more until you can let a bubble of love burst with joy on it. Not an easy task but it does get easier the more you realize that you can take the pain and hurt that you feel and allow it to move through, teach you and release it.

That, THAT my love is control. Of your inner self. Your inner place where all Truth comes to be seen.

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